Saturday, March 8, 2025
Clean Saturday

Good strength to all now that East and West both have entered the season of Great Lent. As weather begins to warm in the northern hemisphere, I pray that our hearts warm towards things of God and overcome the deadening distractions of this world which St. John the Beloved testifies, “… is passing away.“

In addition to spring and lent, it is also the season for spring formals. When I was a young man, I loved to dance. Every dance offered by my high school throughout the year saw me cutting a rug with the best of them. When the more formal dances were held like homecoming and prom, I especially enjoyed the pageantry and the chance to exercise whatever few social graces American culture teaches to young adults. First step, find a date: someone agreeable and attractive who would not read too much into the request (unless there was reason for such a reading). Secondly, rent/buy something formal for the occasion: smart, but not too smart; elegant, but not beyond that mall store clerk salary. Finally, pick the young lady up in the best vehicle your recently acquired driver’s license and limited connections can provide. And don’t forget the fresh corsage and boutonniere, giving the lady all the time she needs, opening doors and escorting her to and fro, and finally arriving to the big dance fashionably late. At the event itself, colored lights and festive banners transform the school gymnasium into a delightful paradise of young flowers in their new bloom meeting and possibly making plans that will last a lifetime.

Or so goes the best laid plans for the tradition we call prom. But it often does not go according to these plans. First off comes the incredible anxiety around the ritual of asking a girl to one of these. Our very informal society does little to prepare the youth for the various pitfalls that can arise. So much psychological baggage comes with popping the question: “I wonder if he likes me?”; “Why did he ask me and not someone else?”; “What if she already has a date?” Most of the time, the gentleman is just looking for the nest available lady to be his escort; real attraction is a matter to be sorted later, but the upfront anxiety can prove too much of a barrier to many.

Second, after the man scores a date with a young lady, the happy couple arrives at the event, and often there is very little coordination or order to the proceedings. If a meal is offered, it often involves informal finger food served buffet style: a marked contrast to the formal attire. Then, when dancing follows, it is usually some modern, haphazard form of slamming into one another or simply swaying back and forth. The music tends to be way too loud for any formal or even casual conversation. Is this event really as cultural or formal as it pretends to be? Is this part of the high school experience our students desire?

Yesterday, two of my young adults and I participated in a different kind of spring formal hosted by Classical Conversations (CC), our home school support group: Protocol is a springtime tradition CC began which addresses many of these concerns I have with prom and adds many of its own flourishes. In protocol, all the older teens in their Challenge Program, ages 14-18, are invited to a cultural event such as a play, a museum tour, or a music concert. Young men and young ladies are paired by a few adult chaperone hosts to take the pressure off of students navigating this difficulty themselves. At the event, the young men escort their lady and engage her throughout in polite and meaningful conversation. Upon the conclusion of the event, the group of ladies and gentlemen process (sometimes on foot) to a local restaurant or catering hall for a formal dinner. Four courses are delivered at a slow and easy pace while guests engage one another first on the common cultural experience and then on whatever topic arises. The whole dignified and inspiring affair concludes with either a walk through the neighborhood or sometimes folk dancing. Compared to prom, far more opportunities for conversation abound.

So, I have always loved prom, but I am growing to love protocol even more. I hope this description has inspired others to plan something similar for their young adults.